Onboard Shopping, Casino, and Photo Opportunities

It’s honestly hilarious—everyone claims they’ll skip the duty-free shops or ignore the photographers, but my bill ends up with more weird charges than my cable plan. $12 for socks? I don’t even remember touching socks.

Casino Spending and Extra Costs

You can’t escape the slot machine noise; it follows you everywhere, even to the buffet. Nobody says the chips, cash advances, and “free” drinks at the casino are basically designed to suck up all your onboard credit and actual money. My neighbor kept ordering drinks, swore they were free, but—surprise—half of them were “premium” and not covered.

And cashing out? Not just chips-to-cash. The casino converts your winnings with some random fee (one time it was a sneaky 5% service charge, just to get my own money back). The casino credit feels like Monopoly money, and even the tournaments have wild entry fees—$30 for a single blackjack hand? I could’ve just bought a mug. If you want the full list of ways the casino nicks you, Cruise Critic has the details.

Onboard Shopping Surprises

The “duty-free” shop thing is… baffling. Two-for-one watches, branded hats, perfume—basically an airport mall that floats. People swipe their cards like it’s Monopoly money, and then the receipt shows a random tax from the last port and a “collection” fee that makes zero sense.

Here’s something I learned: if you preorder something and don’t pick it up, you still get charged. Ship boutiques love their “cruise line only” stuff (Royal shirts, NCL ducks, whatever), but honestly, you can find better deals in port. Cruise Galore has a whole write-up on this. My only advice—double-check every receipt, even for snacks. The “free” stuff isn’t ever free.

Professional Photos and Memory Packages

The ship photographers are everywhere, and they’re aggressive. I’m just trying to grab pizza at midnight, and suddenly there’s a flash in my face. Then it’s $21 for a print. They catch you at formal night, the gangway, even breakfast (I looked like I’d been hit by a bus). There’s always a “deal”—$199 for a digital album, $99 for portraits, but the fine print says you only get personal use rights, and the “package” never covers the one photo you actually like.

One time I tried to buy just one digital file. Nope, not allowed. If you don’t buy your printed photos before disembarkation, they shred them. I’ve seen “unlimited” memory packages, but the contract says “up to 20 images, at photographer’s discretion.” And for European cruises, they tack on VAT. If you want the full horror story, Life Well Cruised has a list. I buy one photo, max. The rest? My phone. No way I’m paying for a blurry shot of me eating spaghetti.

Family and Kid-Related Unexpected Fees

Can someone please explain why cruise lines keep sneaking in extra charges for families, as if we’re not going to notice? These kid-related fees just pile up, and you only realize it when you’re staring at the bill, trying to figure out what went wrong.

Babysitting and Kids’ Clubs Surprises

I tried to see a show—just wanted ninety minutes without guilt. Out of nowhere, babysitting fee. Sometimes it starts after 10 p.m., sometimes earlier, and it’s $6-$20 per kid, per hour. Who budgets for that? One staffer mentioned after-hours group babysitting is way pricier than the “free” daytime stuff. But even the daytime “kids’ club” isn’t always free. My neighbor got hit with fees for themed nights (glow parties, pirates, whatever), and nobody gives those away. Even prepaying gratuities didn’t help. My friend Jan keeps complaining about “hidden key card fees” because her twins lose them constantly—first place for chaos, second for draining your wallet.

Special Activities for Children

I signed my kid up for a cupcake decorating class—thought it’d be harmless. Suddenly I’m paying per participant for science workshops, acrobat classes, video game tournaments. Most of these “premium” activities are $10-$30 extra, every single time. Am I paying for sprinkles or a degree? Crew talk up the free pool games and crafts, but anything with a branded character or special equipment is another charge. Cruise lines advertise “included family fun,” then drop hidden event fees so stealthily you don’t notice until your kid wants one more scavenger hunt. And why does the arcade card system never work, always costing another $10 to “fix” a missing virtual ticket? I have no idea. Still don’t.

Transportation, Hotel Stays, and Pre/Post-Cruise Expenses

Didn’t hit me until my third cruise: the biggest money leaks aren’t even on the ship. They start before you board, and I have the receipts to prove it. These “surprise” charges lurk everywhere, pretending to be upgrades or “conveniences,” and I’m not exactly bragging about them to anyone.

Transportation to and From the Ship

Rental cars cost more for cruise terminals, for reasons I can’t grasp. I’ve paid $70 for a 20-minute shuttle, after already getting gouged for parking at a “discounted” rate. Meanwhile, the couple behind me got transfers for free—only because they booked some premium package. Airlines like Delta and United sell “Airport to Port” bundles, then add $12 per suitcase. Cruise lines have their own transfer fees if you don’t buy their whole package—always hidden, always annoying.

Lost my train of thought. Anyway, taxi apps never sync with port pickup times, so you end up improvising or paying double surge pricing. Lyft’s “Port Rate” is a joke; I call my $40 ride in Miami “The Miami Special.” Locals say public buses are great, but if you’ve got kids or more than one bag, forget it. So, if you’re budgeting, you need to factor in parking, shuttles, private cars, “convenience fees,” and the price of standing around in a parking lot at dawn, wondering where your ride went.

Hotel Stays and Baggage Fees

So, last time I booked one of those “cruise-friendly” hotels, thinking, “Eh, it’s just a night, who cares?”—and then bam, $38 slapped on for a “port shuttle fee.” Annoying. Cruise lines sometimes dangle bundled hotel stays with transfers, and you think, “Sweet, I’m set,” but nope—baggage rules are a whole other circus. Apparently, “baggage included” doesn’t actually mean all your bags. Anything over 50 lbs? Suddenly I’m dragging my suitcase like I’m prepping for a CrossFit competition. Tried that “book at the last minute, save money” thing—ended up blowing it all on airport snacks because every hotel wanted $8 just to babysit my bag for an hour.

Here’s one for the rage diary: some hotels sneakily tack on “cruise port transfer” the night before checkout, even if you’re escaping via Uber. And don’t get me started on airport hotels calling themselves “cruise port adjacent” but refusing to hold your luggage past 11 a.m. (Once, I literally bribed the front desk with cupcakes for two extra hours—still paid the $10 bag fee. Cupcakes didn’t buy me much.) I guess the only upside is if you’re a points hoarder, you might squeeze out a free breakfast or late checkout, but you better read every single clause. “Complimentary” almost always has an asterisk, especially if you’re like me and allergic to fine print.

Oh, and those “bag-in-room to ship” services? They never mention the bus leaves before sunrise. Did it once—never again unless I suddenly decide to become a sleep-deprivation guinea pig. And if you’re packing for a long cruise, forget it. One night’s worth of “extras” can add up to a small fortune, especially if you travel like you’re moving house.